Kaikoura men meet for support

RISE's Rob Roche (L) working in Kaikoura and Victor MacGill (R)

Before the devastating 2016 earthquake in Kaikoura, Takahanga Marae was running a regular non-violence programme for men. RISE, then operating as SVS Living Safe, participated in this group as a host. After the earthquake, the town was devastated, travelling was impossible, and the group meetings were disrupted and stopped over the following months.

But the need was still there.

RISE’s Victor MacGill was working and living in Christchurch at the time of the earthquake when General Manager Dee Cresswell contacted him. Contracts with the Department of Corrections and Ministry of Justice still had to be delivered, so Dee offered him the job.

“One of the first things I did was to contact the people who were part of the group at the marae,” Victor says. “Nearly everyone had moved away in the aftermath and so I started from scratch to rebuild it. After everything that had just happened, I knew that there was need for the group now more than ever.”

At first Victor couldn’t find enough people to make a group because they all went separate ways. So he offered one-on-one programmes for the Ministry of Justice through RISE. He also attended regular family harm meetings with Police, worked with other community groups and organisations, and worked with the high school.

“Eventually in 2017, I organised speakers come and talk and we attracted good numbers. This was with the help of Simon Gordon who was with Kaikoura Healthcare. The talks were at Donegal’s Pub and we also talked about rural mental health. We had about 50 men show up for these talks. I kept organising speakers and from there we were able to form a core group of men who wanted to meet weekly and just talk.”

Victor advertised the group in the community as a group learning how to build better relationships and this was well received. Over time, however, the group formed their own style as to what they wanted to do with the meetings.

“Eventually we came to a comfortable place where the men lead the group and I sat in for support. We meet fortnightly for two hours. It starts with about 30 minutes of new thinking or something to learn and the rest of the meeting is a check in on how things are going for everyone. Every now and then we bring in a speaker, but I can tell the most valuable use of the time is when the men talk to each other.

“It’s been going now for about a couple of years and we have some very long-timers who keep coming and it is a tremendous support for each of the group members.”

Victor says most of the members have had difficult life experiences and trauma in their backgrounds, but the main focus of the group is to offer emotional support and friendship around living in a small community.

“The real focus of our conversations has become more about living in an isolated place and the effect of that isolation on your wellbeing and your mental health. The weekly in-person check in is a lifeline for many and they interact with each other throughout the week too by group texts. They organise volunteer activities like chopping firewood to give away to people in the community or they go fishing together. Some men have had really profound changes as a result of their participation.”

Before Victor started the group post-earthquake, one of the members shared that he had considered suicide. Being part of the group has helped him find solace and a strong bond with the members, and positively affected his mental wellbeing.

“Another man who joined the group was drinking a bottle of whisky a day,” Victor says. “Since he’s been attending meetings, he has stopped drinking entirely.

“I truly believe, after my experience with this group, that men benefit from this kind of outlet where they can just talk. Depression has been a common issue over many years but the group support has helped people remain positive through all the personal challenges and the community challenges. They find camaraderie here with others who understand and empathise and support. It’s done wonders for these men.”

The group meets fortnightly and RISE provides staff support through Rob Roche, RISE’s team member located in Kaikoura. If you or someone you know is interested in the group, contact Rob on 022 323 6324.